Regaining Self-control

These last two weeks got me learning a lot of things about myself – my limits, my strengths, my weaknesses, and more personal stuff that I failed to see before. Self-control was a concept that was lost to me, as I just kept saying yes to everything until it was all too much. But now I’m working hard again to get it back, and here’s how I’m doing it.

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Being Too Open-Minded

I’ve never reflected in my life for a long time. Like, really sat down in a quiet place with a pen and notebook in hand, looking deep inside me to come up with something profound. Last time I did that was in high school, and that’s because it’s a requirement for our Christian Living class. So I had this idea that soulful reflection is somehow a religious activity.

Fast forward four years later, and my whole life has undergone a major change. The man who previously aspired to serve the Lord by bring a priest has been exposed to a culture so different than what he’s used to, and he was like a sponge, absorbing it all in. His beliefs changed, his outlook in life, his dreams maybe… He also got lost along the way, and there are still moments when he’s doubting his existence, pondering on what his purpose in life truly is. That’s all part of the man writing this little blog you’re reading right now.

I’m gonna admit, I wasn’t as religious as I was before. College has taught me to look at things in an entirely different perspective – with logic. I liked it. It allowed me to see the flaws in an argument when a person uses religious concepts to rebut an idea. Maybe that’s why I saw being religious as synonymous to being close-minded because religious people tend to be loyal to a certain way of thinking that they have to limit their mindset so as to stay faithful to their religion.

And college has opened my mind to a whole new world of ideas that I just kept taking and taking and taking…without reviewing if what I was taking could be helpful to my growth.

Just as there are downsides to being restricted to a certain way of thinking, being open-minded could also be detrimental, in a sense where you just take in everything without looking if what you’re getting is still what you wanted in the first place. In my case, I guess I became too open-minded that I sort of lost my own mind in the motley of noise and nonsense blabber that I was exposed to. That’s why I’m having a hard time right now expressing myself as I am, without any extra dash of salt and a serving of doubt. But that’s why I’m keeping this blog, to gradually rediscover myself – not my old self, but the self that was the sum total of all my experiences in life whether good or bad. And this is a nice start, if I do say so myself.

Commence Reality

So, last week I made my first blog post, and then I slipped back to being stagnant. Or maybe not really. I subscribed to the Fundamentals course of Blogging University, and I was only able to follow up to Day Five out of the nine emails that are already in my inbox as of time of writing. I’m not even satisfied with my theme yet – I’m still on the tedious process of trying out a lot of different themes ’till I find one that fits. But before that, I’m gonna focus on writing content that kicks ass.

Speaking of which, I wanna talk about today’s efforts to self-improvement. First off, I tried making a weekly planner. So I got a template from a video I watched from The Art of Manliness, opened up Excel, and made a pretty accurate replica of that table.

But when it came to filling out those blank boxes, that’s where I failed.

weekly planning fail

Here’s my attempt at planning my Monday.

Maybe because I’m trying to plan my week on a Monday instead of a Sunday. But I also know that I really don’t have much of an experience in planning, so I didn’t know which tasks I should do first to achieve maximum efficiency.

Meaning I should continue practicing my planning skills.

And so, with some sort of plan set out for myself, I went on with my day, trying to stick to my schedule, but not too much that I become counter-productive. For instance, I wasn’t able to take the dogs out on a run at 9 am because I needed to take a dump. But seeing as I don’t have anything on the 9:30 box, I spent that time running back and forth the front of our house with Alexis and Potchi (our dogs).

Fast forward to after lunch, that’s when I set to doing the two 650-word articles for a freelance assignment. And that took me the whole afternoon to finish. So yeah, no art-making and reading e-books today. 😦

On the other hand, what I did today was not something I do everyday. I took the time to allocate my time to the things that matter, and although I haven’t finished them all, I feel great for taking a shot and being able to accomplish something today.

I also joined a subreddit called Heirs of the Sun which aims to motivate people in their fight against porn addiction by simulating an Army-style training. But that is a story for another day.

Have any thoughts about planning? Share them in the comments below!

The Who and the Why

“Relax, Josh. This is just an introduction for your blog. No one’s gonna judge you for it. Just introduce yourself, write what goes on in your mind, and you’re good to go.”

That’s me trying to motivate myself to write this first post and embark on a journey that will make me a better person. Or at least put an end to my cosmic laziness and procrastination.

You see, I studied journalism in college, and I actually write pretty well, from news articles to storyboards for documentaries and everything else in between. I also do a little graphics on the side. But when it comes to voicing my own thoughts, telling my own stories…well, that’s a different story. I’m not sure if I lack the confidence to share my stories to other people or if I’m too anxious to start because I think what I make will not be as perfect as what I want it to be.

And that just sucks – having a journalism degree and not having your own voice.

So I’m starting my own blog to help me find my own voice – one that I won’t be afraid to share to the world. I want to build myself into the man I want to be, to change bad habits and replace them with ones that can help me reach my full potential.

Self-discovery and self-improvement.

That means I’ll write regularly about my life – the things that keep me busy, the projects I’ve been working on, and the reasons that make it worth living.

I also want to connect with like-minded folks who make improving themselves a big deal. Taking that first step to self-improvement can be really daunting. I’ve taken a shot at it myself for a few times, and to be honest, I’ve been doing great…at first. But when you have no one to share your milestones with, you start forgetting how good it feels to smash your goals, and soon enough, you just don’t care. That’s why I want to be able to interact and share this journey with others who, despite having a rough time, are still moving forward because they want this so bad – to be truly awesome.

And lastly, I want this blog to serve as practice for my writing (guess that was obvious) and also to improve my social skills. I like to believe that I’m a really awkward creature who likes to interact with other people but sometimes can’t because shyness gets in the way.

But that changes starting today.

Welcome to my blog, and I hope you have a good day. 🙂